Is this... Momentum?

This tumblr thing was a really good idea! I'm finding an unexpected sense of satisfaction in scrolling down the sidebar and seeing all the yummy and mostly sensible things I've eaten recently. Today's sprouts are particularly attractive, if I do say so myself.

Back to work tomorrow, which presents a more complicated set of challenges, especially as we get busier. Tomorrow should be a relatively simple day, only lunch break with which to contend, and packing fruit for snacks will help out, but Thursday promises to be a danger zone of long workday and no way to heat up food in the new building yet. (I'm not above visiting my old theater to use the microwave... They like me and I still have keys.) I expect to be there 9 am to 12 am, which means at least one meal is likely to be eaten out. I'll have to remember to photograph it and try to make the least destructive choices. (No cheesesteaks!)

We start tech next week, Tuesday - on my birthday, not that anyone's counting - in a building that is not yet complete. Tech is a challenge to healthy living every time, and many are the good runs of eating well that I have totally blown on a tech week, but I expect it to be more so than usual this time, as we will be trying to get everything done at the same time. Too busy to eat presents problems of its own! Of course, at least I don't have to worry about birthday cake!

Food on the Brain

One of the worst parts of conscious eating for me is that once I start critically thinking about my food choices, I can't stop. Not in a good building-better-habits sort of way, no, in a catch-22 I-am-totally-obsessed-with-food kind of way. I can have just eaten, be totally replete and still be incapable of thinking about anything other than when I get to eat again. It's totally in my head - the food is good, and filling, and there's more of it later when I want it. I'm a decent cook, I enjoy eating what I make, it's not like I'm not going to get to eat again and it's not even like I'm hungry at all, but there is a corner of my mind constantly thinking about food. This does not happen when I'm just eating whatever crosses my path. I eat whatever it is, and then, when I'm hungry, I start thinking about food again.

I don't know how to shake this, and I am very frustrated by it.

In Which I Employ an Excess of Superlatives (or, Who IS this Super Positive Person and When Will She Go Away?)

Last night I went to bed around 12:30 feeling totally down, just dejected and lonely. I wasn't even especially tired (I thought) and mostly went to bed because I didn't see any way that it would improve, so calling it quits and expecting better of the following day seemed the logical course of action. (It was that or emotional overeating, let's be honest.)

I don't say this to elicit sympathy, or to make you feel like I am a sad and lonely person (by and large, I'm not) but rather to highlight how brilliantly this plan worked!

Today was marvelous in nearly every way. I slept until about 10:30. (Remember how I didn't think I was tired? I was wrong.) When I went to bed last night, the radiator was simply CRANKING, the little one in my bedroom is off (when I moved in, my friends found that it was leaking and closed the valve - I'm certain that if I were to point this out to my landlord, he would fix it, but the truth is, it suits me just fine for that radiator to be off anyhow) but the big one in the living room keeps it uncomfortably warm when it's blazing away, so I had cracked the window right next to it. When I woke up this morning, the radiator had clearly eased off hours earlier. I'm informed that it was somewhere in the 18ºF range this morning. My apartment was SERIOUSLY cold. I got up, shut the window, and then just got back into my marvelously toasty bed and read for a while, until hunger drove me out of the nest of warmth. The luxury of being able to read in my down cocoon with no urgent need to do anything was so relaxing!

By the time my desire for breakfast overcame my disinclination to be cold, the temperature situation was beginning to rectify itself, so I got dressed and made myself a slightly larger than normal breakfast - two poached eggs, blackened hash browns with cheese, and a cup of tea. (One of these days, I really should consider a tea pot - but the 2c pyrex measuring cup works pretty marvelously for brewing loose tea, and has the added advantage of already taking up room in my overcrowded excuse for a kitchen.) I got to sit at my table, back together and returned to its rightful place in the window now that the Christmas tree has been (forcibly) evicted, and eat my breakfast in the sunlight. I didn't realize how much light was being blocked by the tree! It's like a whole new apartment!

Breakfast consumed (blackened hash browns were a perfect plan), I settled in to play a little bit of World of Warcraft, kill a few dragons, the usual. I haven't seen my dear neighbors in weeks though, so I texted to invite them to dinner - may as well give the newly resurrected table a work out. Not only did they think that a good plan, they were making a run to the Flatbush Food Co-op, of which they are members (and I am not), and did I want to come along? Well, sure. I could always use some good produce and some bulk beans. The Co-op taunted me with their special on organic avocados - I love avocado. It does not love me. My neighbors great people with whom to go shopping - they have the same appreciation for the variety and abundance in the produce section as I do. A trip to the Food Co-op isn't just an errand, it's an outing!

At home, groceries in hand, I decided to deal with the Indigo Girls song stuck in my head in the only way I could imagine - listening to them. I've been a fan of the IG for over twenty years and they are one of my first musical loves, and cooking dinner for my friends while listening to music that's been with me my entire adult life was a beautiful thing, filled with joy (and garlic. Which is sort of the same thing.) The neighbors showed up, with excellent green beans to contribute, and we sat down to a sumptuous meal of cheese tortellini in spicy vodka sauce, green beans, and fresh bread with roasted garlic. We are so fortunate to be able to have such abundance available to us, and to know what to do with it!

We played Bananagrams, chatted, and listened to music - generally had a delightful evening, and topped it off with some ice cream I can't recommend enough, Mexican Chili Chocolate from Steve's Craft Ice Cream.

I can't think of anything about this day that was not in every way superior to yesterday. Nearly perfect!

Calorie counting is the wurst

On the food front, today was a mixed day - I tried the whole take-a-picture-of-everything plan, and was mostly successful, but I missed the knockwurst and beer I didn't mean to eat for dinner! (It was good, and cheap, and by restaurant standards impossibly rationally sized, but it was still a fatty sausage and a beer.) I stopped by Whole Foods on the way home to get some milk, honey, salt and split peas (that leftover ham is burning a hole in my refrigerator) and ended up buying a bag of these tasty chips I tried earlier in the day - snack food I really don't need!

I'm frustrated by it because when I got home today, once I'd added up the day's consumption, I was pretty much on target for caloric intake, but I was still hungry. I had a glass of milk and an orange, which put me over for the day. I feel like it was a pretty decent day, wurst aside, but it was also a heavy day from a work perspective, and I worked HARD, lots of moving heavy things from one place to another, lots of pushing things around in the cold (really should have worn a second pair of socks for unloading that truck) and a ton of running up and down stairs. I got off the train too early on the way to the Whole Foods (rare google maps fail) and ended up walking almost a mile to the store. Being hungry seemed totally legitimate. The milk really did help, the nice protein and satiating fat, but mostly just took the edge off. Going to bed now, feeling still slightly as though I wish I had eaten something else. I'll be interested to see if I am starving in the morning. The eggs will be welcome at least!

Could have used a little more skepticsm, those guys.

I saw this on a blog when I got home from work tonight - a runaway Dallas teenager, missing since late 2010, turned up. In Columbia. The country to which this African-American non-Spanish speaking kid was deported. From what I can tell so far, she ran away, was picked up for theft, and gave a false name - a name which turned out to belong to a 22 year old immigrant with warrants for her arrest. So Immigration and Customs Enforcement got involved. And deported her. Apparently they fingerprinted her, but did not fully investigate her identity, or consider the possibility that this lone teenage girl might not be telling the truth about her name.

Now, I'm not entirely sure how they got through the whole deportation process, without at some point the kid saying, "Hey, wait... I'm an American" and SOMEONE believing her - or at least looking into it. It's not impossible that she never told them that, but I know that no matter how much I felt like I had fucked up, I would have piped up at some point before being ejected from my country of birth under a false name. 

So much advice...

I've been threatening to become a food blogger (and probably a bad one, if past performance can be any indicator of future achievement) for years, and I think that may have finally happened, only in a different way than I had anticipated.

I've been reading the unfortunately named Good Calories, Bad Calories, a book about which my mother was talking while I was home for Christmas. The title makes it sound to me like a diet book of the most banal sort, but that turns out to be misleading. So far, and I'm just starting out (my kindle tells me I'm 10% into the book), it is as much a book about the recent history of nutritional public policy as it is about food I should eat. Science writer Gary Taubes applied journalistic research and scientific skepticism to the piles of assumed information about human nutrition and disease prevention, hoping to find the science on which current thinking is founded, or to disprove it. It's making me question a lot of the assumptions I absorbed as a young person - maybe that grain heavy food pyramid wasn't such a good plan. Maybe the research doesn't back it up at all. Is there really a causal relationship between cholesterol and dietary fats and coronary heart disease? I found myself, on the train the other day, talking back to the book. (Fortunately using my internal voice, though it IS New York City, people probably wouldn't have noticed if I'd spoken out loud to my book.)

I realized, as the author talks about the funding for the studies and the alliance between industry and research, that I've grown skeptical of everything these days. Do you really believe what you just said, or are you saying it because your statement has been bought and paid for? What is real? What is believable? I question everything. And that's probably all to the good, skepticism keeps us honest and critical, and I can hardly consider that a bad thing!

My family and I have used SparkPeople.com on and off for several years now (apparently I joined in February of 2006), to motivate ourselves and to track our food and exercise, and my brother sent out an email yesterday, encouraging us to join him there again. Spark is a lot like WeightWatchers online, without the points gimmick, and without the price tag. Lots of forums and "teams", blogs and trackers. I do find that when I track what I'm eating, I both eat less of it and am more critical of it, so it can be a very useful tool for weight loss and general health. Unfortunately, I am LOUSY at it. I constantly forget to track, forget what I ate, forget a snack... Of course, there's an app for that. But I'm pretty bad at that too. What I DO enjoy is constantly taking pictures of my food. I mean, all the time. Made some delicious ham? Text someone to taunt them about it. Really pretty pot pie? Belongs on facebook. I do it all the time. I'm also pretty good at keeping up with social networking. It doesn't bother me in the slightest to check Facebook, Twitter and Google+ multiple times a day. (An hour?) So I've started a tumblr feed, to post all the food I eat. This is, I am aware, going to interest pretty much no one but me, so I plugged it into the sidebar here... Because sometimes it can be visually appealing, and because now, when I want to track what I ate today, it's all right there. In technicolor.


So I think this blog is going to become a lot about food. And health. And, inevitably, how frustrating weight loss is. But also about the preparation of food, the production of food, even the politics of food. Because there is a lot of information out there, and most of it disagrees. As of this writing, I prefer local to organic, whole to skim and real to processed. This could change at a moment's notice. And likely will. I welcome your thoughts and information, feel free to send me interesting links and articles, I'll probably repost them, and possibly argue with them.


And I'm not ruling out silly stories about life in the theater either. Those don't even have to do with food at all, though often they do.

Tumblr.

My friend Mia suckered me into tumblr. She did it so that I could post some of the hilarity at work to the theater's tumblr account. (WTF - if you're curious. And like stupid. And hilarity.) That part was perfectly reasonable. The part where I might actually use it less so, it's just that it is shiny and new. Unlike this beat-up old blogger... or the elderly livejournal... or the good old days of actually generating my own crap. Yeah. I'm aware of how absurd this is. I do like the somewhat scrapbooky nature of tumblr though - it is very easy to paste together tidbits. It's somewhere between proper blogging and tweeting. With some sociability but no irritating games.

Meh

I don't like this title, this layout or most of my content. Unfortunately,  I also don't feel in any way inspired to fix any of that. I feel like I was better at this when it was all just hand coded crap-ass html in college...

#besttwitterconvoever

I like mocking hashtags as much as the next person. (Though probably not as much as Pluta, who says things like "Oh hi, hashtag. Why so sad? #youwerereallymeantomeyesterday -I was real lyme ant om eyes terd, ay? #youreadick", but, you know, like a normal hashtag mocking person.)

That said, this conversation justified my generally lackluster twitter existence. Irritatingly, the "show conversation" option is set to most recent, so it will make more sense top to bottom:

For the record, no, I do not recall when the drunkest I ever saw him* was. Sorry. Maybe next time he comes to town we can rectify that situation. The front runners right now are the night he ended up wearing someone else's boxers and the night he puked on my couch, but there are so many options...

*He's actually a really great person and not the drunk this blog would lead you to believe, but don't tell him I said so, I'll call you a liar.

Nigeria Bound

I've resurrected this blog for one really good reason.

I'm not saying that I might not keep up with it after, but let us be honest here - I don't exactly have the best track record with regard to blogging consistency. Unless you consider "mushy" to be an acceptable consistency.

I got an email a few months ago from a friend and colleague, the Tony Award winning sound designer of Fela!, with a really compelling first line:

"Are you interested in a little trip to Africa?"

Am I?

AM I‽‽

You bet your sweet ass I am.

So I will be going with the show to Lagos, Nigeria, at the very end of March, and returning the first of May, for a month of, most likely, utter insanity. Yes, I am terribly excited. Yes, I have been vaccinated against a laundry list of baddies (and yes, I am one of the 25% of yellow fever vaccinees who enjoy flu like symptoms afterwards, thanks for asking.) No, I will not be sending anyone (including my mom, so don't feel bad) constant status checks. I will be updating this blog regularly while I am there, and I hope to at least have some pictures to show. My contract, amusingly enough, explicitly states that internet connection charges will be covered by the company (it's in the clause with my hotel room), so I anticipate at least a passing relationship with the internet while I am there. Not bad for a developing nation, I'll take it.

I haven't even started to prepare for the trip, other than to take an absurdly expensive trip to see a travel doctor and get my battery of shots. I can't get into Nigeria without the yellow fever vaccine, but in addition, I got typhoid, hepatitis and meningococcal meningitis, as well as boosters for polio and that old standard, tetanus/diphtheria. Together with what I am told is a very spendy prescription for Malarone for malaria prophylaxis and a precautionary antibiotic prescription, I am all set. Or will be when I get reimbursed for the doctor's visit and can contemplate purchasing the Malarone!

Since I'm in previews with a show at Playwrights right now, I'm still quite busy with my ordinary, domestic life, and I have not yet broached the subject of packing, even within the confines of my skull. I just know I need to buy some jeans. I seem to have two pairs, and I don't quite think that will cut it.

Food porn incoming

My brother sends food porn pictures to a group of us with terrifying regularity, and it's mouthwatering. Now you too can join in the drool-fest, because he's been coerced into bloghood.

Check out the om nom nom at thomasfeed.

I feel like a slacker now, not stepping up to the food porn mat!

Time for a redesign, methinks

I've just been reminded that I HAVE a blog, by my friend Aaron, who just started one. How dreadfully out of date mine appears to be!

I've spent most of the last year journaling privately, in one of those terribly stereotypical black moleskine notebooks. It seems as though all the writing I have felt any compulsion to at all is self-absorbed, narcissistic drivel. Confronted with the blank space in my web browser now, I find myself at a loss. What did I blog about? Do I have anything to say? And where did all those spam comments come from anyhow?!

Small Can Be Big

Wow - what is this update page? I haven't seen it in so long, I barely remember it! I've been busy and not as connected as is customary, so my blogging has suffered considerably but I wanted to take this chance to introduce you all to my new favorite way to help folks in need. Similar in some ways to Kiva.org, though this is for donations and not microloans, Small Can Be Big uses local charity organizations to find families with a specific, fundable need. You get to pick the family you want to help, and any size donation is added to the pot, until the need is met. Then they turn the funds over to the sponsoring charity to pay the medical bill, or the heat, or the security deposit - whatever relatively minor cost is standing between that family and security.

In these insecure times, I've been very fortunate despite my intermittent work life. None of my colleagues are having to decide what bill to pay. (Yet.) None of my friends and family are going hungry. (Yet.) None of my loved ones are in danger of losing their homes. (Yet.) The people Small Can Be Big is trying to reach out to are people just like the ones you and I love, just a little less lucky. If you feel similarly, skip that lunch out at work, or that trip to Starbucks, and spend that money instead on helping someone at Small Can Be Big.

Disclosure statement: One of my old friends is partially responsible for Small Can Be Big. So yes, I'm biased. And more to the point, quite proud of him,

Photos.

Day 39 ~ 12/12/08

Yikes. Working "Tappy Holidays" at Symphony Space. Shoot me.

Day 38 ~ 12/11/08

My favorite piece of ad work - the poor, huddled statue makes me want to give her the coat off my back. This shows up each year around this time, in support of the NY Cares Coat Drive.

Day 37 ~ 12/10/08

Sometimes the traffic really does just look like a puzzle game.

Day 36 ~ 12/09/08

What a cheerful sight to see on my way in from the cold!

Day 35 ~12/08/08

So pleased was I to see even a little snow, I had to stick my hand in it.

Day 34 ~ 12/07/08

Looking out at the church window. I can't shake the oddity of this space.

Day 33 ~ 12/06/08

Detritus of a birthday party (a very LOUD birthday party) outside the church/theatre.

Day 32 ~ 12/05/08

Rushing out to buy a tree before another day of tech rehearsals.

Day 31 ~ 12/04/08

9th Avenue as seen through the Christmas tree stands.

Day 30 ~ 12/03/08

Here's a stop that could use some mosaic. This is the dreariest station in the city. The E at 50th.

Day 29 ~ 12/02/08

What's greener? Fake trees or real? I say real - I'm always in favor of oxygen producing factories!

Day 28 ~ 12/01/08

Sky outside Ikea.

Day 27 ~ 11/30/08

Can anyone explain my obsession with the fire escape when it rains?

Day 26 ~ 11/29/08

Things are coming together at work. Just about ready for tech.

Day 25 ~ 11/28/08

Sadie the Sleepy Dog grabs the Comfy Chair.

Photos.

Day 24 ~ 11/27/08

Sadie gives her "uncle Dave" a kiss.

Day 23 ~ 11/26/08

Finally had to take down the map...

Day 22 ~ 11/25/08

A picture of pictures. I liked the light in my living room.

Day 21 ~ 11/24/08

Last day at Baruch! A planter out front.

Day 20 ~ 11/23/08

Window at St. Clement's, a theatre/church.

Day 19 ~ 11/22/08

One of the ubiquitous water towers.

Day 18 ~ 11/21/08

More art - above ground. These tree houses are an installation at Madison Square Park.

Day 17 ~ 11/20/08

This is one of my favorite subway mosaic - all up and down the platform are these hats, coupled with a tile showing the name of the famous person to whom the hat belonged. I suspect that the hats are all at the height of the person who wore them.

Day 16 ~ 11/19/08

A pencil case with speaker boobs.

Pies are squared

Tomorrow's meal should be excellent, though I certainly reserve the right to totally screw it up between now and then. Today I did as many of the advance things as possible, in hopes that tomorrow morning won't be totally crazy. (Ha!) I went ahead and made the dough for rolls, since it wants to chill in the fridge anyhow, though I'll have to shape them tomorrow. I'm not crazy about the wine I ended up using in the wine jelly, so that might be a flop, but the custard to go with it is just now off the stove and cooling, and that will be outstanding. I've never bothered with green bean casserole before - I love green beans, but I usually just saute them with some shallots and garlic (in the wok for thanksgiving - it's really the only pan the right size for a serious mess of beans). This year I'm branching out. I saw an episode of Good Eats in which Alton made a version of the ubiquitous holiday dish using actual real food. And it looked really GOOD. Which wasn't something I expected from green bean casserole. So I had to try it. It's looking pretty good in my fridge right now, all sexy in its cast iron skillet, just waiting for some last minute oven time.

One of today's tasks was the bourbon pecan tart. I'd actually decided against making it, because Dave's mom is bringing two pies, but I really like it, and neither of the pies is pecan, much less pecan with bourbon. I tried something new this time, using bourbon as the liquid in the crust - it certainly made a nice smelling and easy to work with crust, tomorrow will tell about the taste. It probably won't matter, since the filling is pretty intense, but  it was fun. I did find myself doing pie math though. Seriously. π r², quite literally. The recipe is for a 9" tart pan, and I only own an 11" tart pan, so I needed to figure out the amount to increase the filling. Turns out, in case you ever find yourself in a similar situation, to increase a tart from 9" to 11" (assuming the same height), you need one and a half times the filling. I'm bad enough at remembering to straight double or halve things, so I'm sort of impressed that it turned out so well. I really should just recopy the thing with the right measurements for the 11" pan. It's not like I'm going to get another tart pan, well, ever really.

But yeah, thanks geometry. Way to help out with the holiday dinner!

Photos.

Day 15 ~ 11/18/08

Candles seem to warm away the winter chill. Or maybe that's just the stove.

Day 14 ~ 11/17/08

Leaving home on the way to work. I hate winter in some ways. I miss daylight.

Day 13 ~ 11/16/08

There have been a lot more soldiers around the National Guard Armory lately, which is fine, it's the armory after all, but this scene, with the military vehicle and the ordinary life all around it made me think a lot about the Army unit assigned to domestic duty. It seems to blatantly defy the Posse Comitatus Act. I can't even have a simple photo project without getting all political. Sheesh.

Marriage Equality Rallytime!

Yesterday afternoon (at least, it was afternoon if you were in eastern or central time) there were rallies in 300 cities in all 50 US states as well a several other countries, supporting marriage equality. While there were plenty of "Shame on you, California" signs still about, the focus of the rally here in NYC was largely on the positive of what we want, not the negative of Prop 8 and its brethren.

Here are  a few of the pictures that I took yesterday, though none of them are especially fantastic, at least it can give you some idea!

You know how I adore the constitution! 

This was one of my favorite signs. ("Whoever said that orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.")

This girl had the right idea! Climbing on something seemed the only way to even see where the stage might be!

Another good sign. I like the positive ones best. 

Of course, some negativity is pretty funny, especially when it's Wizard of Oz related!

There was something especially affecting to me about this girl. She seemed very intense to me.

While it's hard to argue that the Mormons are not an excellent lightning rod, I think that focusing on them is ultimately a losing battle. 

 

The police had cordoned off lots of areas like this, which made me think of Naomi Wolf's "Give Me Liberty", in which she laments the limits placed on public assembly.

Photos.

Day 12 ~ 11/15/08

I'll have a separate post with pictures from the marriage equality rally, but in the immediate aftermath, this scene struck me as especially poignant.

Day 11 ~ 11/14/08

Every night when I walk past this clock I find myself wondering why it is that the 8 and 10 are red and blue.

Photos.

Day 10 ~ 11/13/08

More subway. This is at the Dykeman St stop on the A line. Yes, the first panel says "WE HOLD". The last panel is blank now, but apparently on election day it said "VOTE".

Day 9 ~ 11/12/08

This will probably be a recurring feature, as I love the mosaics in the subway tunnels here. This is at the E stop at 53rd and Lex.

Day 8 ~ 11/11/08

I was attempting to capture my utter apathy for going to run the show, but I think this is even worse than I intended it to look.